I've eaten ice cream, mentos, an extreme gulp and swedish fish today. i feel like diabetes. the actual disease not a person with it.
Last day of classes. 1st day attending every class. I'm proud of myself
You were throwing ham at people telling them you were the sandwhich fairy
THERE WAS A HANDPRINT OF BLOOD ON HIS SHOULDER
Why is my drynk life bleeding into my real life
Goldenshlager is a hell of a drink. And these are the adventures ur missing out on w me. I gave someone a bath Emily. A BATH.
Awkward
Can't say I wouldn't let it happen again.
Well, when you bump into your parents at a swingers meetup, it's time to change cities
Fun holiday story for you: Alex and I went out drinking. She left. I needed a ride home. Met this dude and told him to drive my car back. Once at my house, I made him take out my dog and then apologized for not wanting to make out with him. I said, let me go see if my roommate is interested and then I slept in Alex's bed all night.
20 bucks says he was an actual leprechaun
We put a ban on pants at an unusually early point in the night.
I've made a single handle of rum last like three weeks and my mom hasn't even acknowledged it.
I don't even care if you were high. The fact that I've been begging for us to have those cinnamon rolls for months and you didn't even save me one is not ok.
I'm on my way to bail our sister out of jail with our mother's credit card. How old are we??
These tits shall not be calmed
My throat is burning
Thats because you proceeded to drink the salsa because you thought it was alcohol...dumbass
He wanted me to do the rubix cube. He thought it was hot.
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