I just remembered we were doing butt clenching exercising with bar straws last night
nothing i could have done in life could have prepared me for walking in on her SHITTING on my rug.
Needless to say there is no second date for this girl.
yet...
Nothing says fuck you quite like putting your used condom in someones mailbox for them to find in the morning.
turns out they were just sand fleas, not crabs.. thank you random mexican girl from padre who's name i can't pronounce
I'm drunk at the doctor. It's not that fun. Overrated in fact.
The slutty girl scout law, revised for halloween 10: on my honor i will try, to serve my vagina and my shot glass. To hold back friends hair at all voming moments and to live by the sluttly girl scout law.
It was literally like being eaten out by a dog. That bad.
And have you ever tried to explain a hickey to your own grandmother?
In an unrelated matter, im gonna eat you out so much later.
How many fucks given?
0.12846
Who knew a blowjob could cause this kind of crazy
He wasn't prepared for it
We were covered in sweat and glitter, making out onstage, in front of everyone. I think it was a good night.
That means I have to put pants on. That is not something I am willing to do right now.
Dude, I wish I could live my entire life blacked out.
Just peed on the front lawn of the capital building. Great American.
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