you can't get genital warts from dogs can you?
he used the word "rubber" i just couldn't do it after that.
fyi, if youre wondering if offering a female police officer sexual favors will get you out of a ticket, the answer is no.
His facebook interests include 'unstrapping velcro'.
My cousin's dog just exhaled smoke. My job here is done.
It was horrifying, i havent seen a girls mouth open that wide since that one episode of Goosebumps..
I think I broke a hole in her wall trying to do backflips
There are a bunch of highly educated, advanced in their field, PUSSY ASS BITCHES in this bar
Yeah, I only wore tennis shoes under the gown. Way cooler than khakis and a shirt, but much more awkward when my parents wanted to go to dinner immediately after the ceremony and my grandmother started to unzip the gown. Stopped her before it was too late, but barely. My dad just rolled his eyes.
New Mean Girls drinking game: Everytime someone says Africa or Math, chug.
There is nothing worse then the feeling after you've held in farts all night..
What's his name?
At the funeral we'll say nice things, like "She was delightfully extreme, psychotically wonderful, and could probably drink all you fuckers under the table."
That's literally the perfect eulogy
Thanks for fingering me to orgasm during Wu-Tang Clan
I just remembered that the guy I slept with last night has "USDA PRIME" tattooed on his ass
We couldn't find her anywhere. Finally, I saw her sitting in my bathroom floor spraying hair mouse into her mouth and whispering "I fucking love whipped cream." WHAT DID YOU GIVE HER AND CAN I HAVE SOME?
Randomize
