whjeg hajt iyt
say what?
wanna hang out?
I'm half single.
Please tell me it's the bottom half.
saw him outside... he got fatter, i got blonder. the winner is obvious.
His text read: Sex? I replied: Not drunk enough. He bought 4 more rounds and tantalized me with the offer pizza later. This could be the beginning of a beautiful relationship.
We just walked into this party and immediately got handed a grilled cheese sandwhich....
No. I was horrified and confused as to why you thought scrambled eggs and cottage cheese was a good mix
He had Jail Releases phone number programed into speed dial on his phone.
I'm not sure how appropriate a drug deal is while at a wake.
I only feel half bad for cheating on him because while we were fucking I was given great relationship advice and now I'm ready to work some things out.
He was bigger soft than my ex was hard. A gold medal rebound.
He's holding a pee stick. Yes it's weird.
I better not get a vid of you penile helicoptering
Dude. That Grinch had his priorities right when he was worried that there might be a cash bar at that town celebration.
Fuck you. Leave my nipples out of this. THEY DID NOTHING TO YOU
I just need a fucking pair of pants. Is that too much to ask for?
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