ya know if you hadnt broke up with me, that porno we made wouldnt have a 3.3 rating on youporn right now...
We just built a bong out of a pineapple. I am never leaving hawaii. Ever.
The Shake Weight not only toned my arms but significantly improved my hand job form and efficiency.
I still can't figure out why that's not in the commercial.
im guessing your the one that tried to make bacon in the toaster
my mom found all the used condoms in my bed side table
whatd she say to you?
no words- put them all in a circle, put the bible in the middle
I had to throw a towel over the bottles cuz it hurts to look at them
My vagina would be awesome. I would be the most popular girl in the village.
Do you remember calling me a cuntasaurus rex last night?
oh yeah, there may or may not be a large boa loose in the house when you get home.
i just tried to use a string cheese as a light source
so she gave me back a bag of clothing, had some boxers in it...they werent mine.... well that sums up 5 years of my life
Me and some girl at the bar just high fived for not wearing bras
How the hell could he be confused. He had a naked girl running to him. I feel like he would enjoy that.
The sex was so good I feel like I could run a triathlon, hit big at the casino, and defeat ISIS.
I went to Walmart last night to buy some CDs--which is a sentence I never thought I'd say in 2016.
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