I am full of burrito and curiosity
Don't you hate it when all three people suddenly sober up in the middle of a threesome. Awwwwkward.
Then she yelled something like "YOU HAVE SO MANY FORKS!" before collapsing on the floor
How am I suppose to fully love you when you cant even open up and try to fulfill my midget fantasy
and then you seriously asked him to senior prom..which freaked him out since you told him earlier you were 22
thanks for paying me in special brownies...but brownies dont pay the rent...anymore.
And at least you didn't have a dinner of Ranch Pringles and Double Stuff Oreos. I forgot that part of being single.
if she didnt wantt to be febrezed, she shouldnt have smelled so desperate.
As your attorney I advise you to rage rapidly
He unbuckled his belt, tipped his hat at me, then told me to "saddle up"
this is like your 5th cowboy right? where do you keep finding these guys?!!
Like if it it's practical for your sexual health I'm allergic to it AKA REGULAR CONDOMS
Don't do it. It's 9 am on a Monday morning and I'm hungover. I can't deal with tears right now.
Which one have i been cheating ON and which one have i been cheating WITH if i met them the same night & have been dividing time equally?
he's figured out my code; what are you doing = I haven't found a better dick yet
It’s just a penis. It’s like every other penis except it’s not the one you’re married to. Ride it or don’t ride it, but don’t agonize about it
Your not going to hell because you need some strange and the neighbor noticed you look damn good in a bikini
Randomize
