can "i'm close!" be our safe word(s)?
oh geez, wrong person.
A homeless man in dtwn SF was blasting lil wayne and singing at the top of his lungs. I kinda wanted to give him my life savings
I've spent 9 hours vomitting in the fetal position... how did i stay like this for 9 months?
When we ran out of red solo cups we switched to Starbucks cups for beer pong... Who doesn't want to live in Seattle?
watching law and order svu marathons. all of the sex crimes cases start like my sat night.
I just remember telling jokes while vomitting
Im sick of reading dumb tattoos while having sex
best line ever after sex today..."wow, that was a porn-star sized load"
Long labias. Talking about. Too drunk to explain. Tomorrow.
yeah, she started doing yoga and cocaine....looks good on her.
i think the beer goggles wore off after hearing the story of her 2nd abortion
they superglued a cigarette to my fingers...i think I need to quit smoking.
Should we buy the taco bell before hand? Not having taco bell on Quattro de mayo isn't a risk I'm willing to take
No gay bar. My eyemake up looks like sex and Im using these dick daggers of mine tonight.
If sending nudes to tinder boy is considered functional then yes.
Randomize
