yeah...it smells like an asshole would smell if someone ate sewage.
I didnt believe in cockblocking untill my roomate brought home that.
Dude you has no fucking this poptart
What?
I dont know to explain this.
we did it on the golf course and he threw the condom in the pond. some poor fish is gonna choke on it
Its your turn to fuck our RA next time she threatens us with an underage.
Alive...but barely. Had dinner with my parents tonight which was conveniently located near where i left my car, phone, and self respect
Ice cream: Good. Fraternity: Good. Eating ice cream off a Skid Row bum's ass crack in order to get into a Fraternity: Homoerotic at best. I quit.
I have no words
Neither did my mom, when she walked in on me squating with my balls in a cup of hot water.
I feel like he better crank it up to level RG IV tomorrow. It's the fucking playoffs.
Human centipede...with the teletubbies. That's what my nightmare had in it.
I don't even want to know.
Some guy is in my phone as Pat McAwesome.
Woke up with a squirrel in my bed, how was your night?
She's lucky her pussy is worth listening to her ramble about bedroom furniture for 30 minutes
He was like, I wanna take it slow. I took off my bra And I was like, either we have sex now or you get out.
It's Christmas. You could splurge on something a LITTLE fancier than wine in a box.
Randomize
