I sk at the spereo and my dad gave me and all access pass
what???
AN ALL ACCESS PASSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSS
At the time, making out with dudes for keg money seemed like a genius idea. Now I realize it was borderline prostitution.
I want him to be my next love. So I'm taking it slow
As in ill only blow him next week
Please just tell me how ugly she was so I can bask in the diminishingly small reassurance that might give me
Weekday college schedule so far: get high as tits. Watch Family Guy marathons. Repeat.
We were Chugging coronas for the soul purpose of launching limes out of the 3rd story window, I'd say it was a good weekend
You should have. Partying with 60 year olds and batman is so much better than partying with bitches our age.
New Mean Girls drinking game: Everytime someone says Africa or Math, chug.
look on the scale of 1 to the time you hit an old lady with your car chlamydia barely even rates
Never go with a hippy to a second location. I fucking hate Xanax.
30-degree weather + Metal Cockring Monday = really hard to pee.
Someone left a middle school yearbook here. I recognized one kid from banging his mom last year.
He described his sex dream about me using only emojis
...I just melted into my bed. I am one with the bed. I am 600 thread count.
Last night I realized my life is an experiment of really bad decisions when I had to leave without my underwear. But at least I'm expanding my life experience.
Randomize
