I really hope you get sexually violated by a pterodactyl tonight.
Fiestas. Its like a classier verson of mardi gras.
recess is on disney at 4 in the morning, insomnia has never been so rewarding
giving a 30 min presentation still drunk is like giving birth, upside down in a pit of snakes while being on fire.
So..I walked into his bathroom and found a bong and a blender in the shower.....normal?
i have my own cum on my nose right now. don't talk to me about "embarrassed".
He has to watch his girlfriends kitten. Even when she is in Vegas, her pussy keeps him from getting into mine.
I never knew so many sexual things could be done while wearing footie pajamas
They broke our car window and then wrote "great night" on the next
And I just want to be like your tongue is not a FUCKING sword
I just said "okay we have 20 minutes to get each other off, ready... Set... Go!" and he picked me up and threw me on the bed. I almost came just from that.
he may or may not have motorboated me on the steps of the library of congress
You were, but he disappeared after you said you wanted him to get you pregnant so you'd have a child by the time the Boy Meets World sequel starts
We are so drunk half our team had to bowl with a chaperone. We won every game. We drink
I'm going to the store to get corona, salad, and blunt wraps...
Randomize
