hotel room ftw
DAMN! I hate it when i drunkenly erase all my "sent message" and wake up in the morning and my inbox is full of "WTF?" and "Huh?" messages.
I guess calling a coworker a lesbian sea cow is some kind of violation.
Do they fuck in the end of "Lady and the Tramp" or am i just wasting my time
Yeah the sex got weird after I said "who's your daddy?" and she actually moaned her dads name.
why does the wii remote smell like your vag?
I woke up with his wallet, but not him. Gold-digging at it's finest.
He hit on a bridal shower w/ his hand on my tit the entire time. Gave his number to the mom.
I'm also 3/4 on the frats. Its like my goal of traveling to all 7 continents, but different somehow and a lot less morally sound.
Not sure if he was actually hot or hot in a "he brought a live chicken to the party" kinda way but I got his # regardless
Does taking an old homeless guy to the strip club, buying him lap dances, and calling him pops all night count as a good deed???
Wouldn't life be so much easier if you could just walk up to attractive men and say, "Let me bear your children" and it wouldn't be creepy?
Or possibly end in a restraining order?
I'm suffering a hangover from deep within. I feel like the half of the parts of my body are permanently laced with alcoholic substances
I wanna get high and watch Shrek tonight...don't make me do it alone.
In hindsight, I probably should not have let the waiter give me a chiropractic adjustment on my neck last night.
Randomize
