I need a booty call who doesn't know my boyfriend or my friends.
Packed at 6 am completely wasted. Damage assessment: 12 pairs of socks (no underwear), a flashlight, 3 shorts, shot glass, 8 sweaters, puff paint, one sneaker.
My only regret is not throwing up on the conveyor belt in the dining hall
the game I always play with drunk me is can-you-button-and-unbutton things? If the answer is no, go home. Usually it's his pants
Did you find any other hidden treasures in my room? Specifically weed? Or Slim Jims?
She said my new name was "ranch" because I "looked delicious"
she broke up with me the week she got divorced. maybe I should grab a beer with her ex
'twas the night before moms weekend and all were blacked out. Not a coug was sober not even farm house. I was down to fuck but you were not in sight, so I bid pullmania a sweet goodnight.
we told the drug dealer that our car was dead and we needed a jump so he would bring the drugs to us...
Just got home. Taking a quick shower. I smell like sex and chorizo. Dont ask.
I just can't do Wednesdays sober anymore
I apparently pulled his dick out at the bar and started yelling "DICK PICS IN REAL LIFE!"
I'm sorry I keep having sex wth your friends. I'm done, for real. Unless cole is interested. Other than that, I'm done.
Can I pee and smoke my bong at the same time or is that like eating on the toilet
We dont have cups... so were doing shots out of bowls like puppies
Randomize
