I'm afraid we're only dating because we're too lazy to look for anyone else.
I have a walk of shame I should be getting to. "Hey, by the way, what is your name?" is not a conversation I want to have today
I never thought that I'd ever use the phrase "and the resulting ice cream explosion" seriously at work...
i just won an entire level on word mole with the word 'clitoris'
im guessing your the one that tried to make bacon in the toaster
Just witnessed a circumcision at clinical. i suddenly feel a sense of reconciliation over every guy who's done me dirty...
I'm sad your dog died... Her name is my stripper name.
I'm being an old woman and getting trashed in a night gown in public...of course it's going to be fun
I am wrecking havoc on the skinny girls by going home with the big one. She is taking me to see her dog now.
oh yeah, there may or may not be a large boa loose in the house when you get home.
The only thing you accomplished yesterday was dry humping me on the floor of my work place WHILE I was working.
I had 2 bags of iv saline fuilds for brunch and the buffet at the strip club for dinner. happy easter.
Why would I take you home? That would eliminate the chances of you making bad decisions I could ridicule you about later.
40s are totally the cure
Sorry I wore your bra during sex last night
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