im surounded by vag. Like smog aound LA, i am suffocating in an atmosphere of pussy
lol whn u cming hre I nd 2 c ur fce
IF YOU TEXT ME ONE MORE SHORTENED VERSION OF A WORD, THE ONLY THING YOU'LL SEE IS MY FIST IN YOUR FACE.
Seriously, stop peeing all over the toilet seat. It looks like movie theatre butter.
Kill yourself wednesday started off with a bang, and im pretty sure im still drunk from tequila tuesday.
Why is there blood and lettuce everywhere?
Just realized I lost my social security card...maybe someone else will do something with my life
I AM THE KING OF THE FRESHMEN
how did i know this would happen?
I have got to stop singing on voicemails. I just left my dad a 6 minute musical message.
He just subscribed to one of my Spotify playlists. The next step is sex.
I met a bunch of Germans and said in german "this is for the fatherland" and poured a beer on my head
It's awesome, he has so much more free time now that he's not screwing other girls behind my back
She said she is going to be sex-slave version of Princess Leia for halloween. You think there is any way I could pull off an attractive Jabba suit?
Smoking weed with a blind guy, don't worry he's chill.
THERE IS JIZZ ON MY CEILING. HOW THE FUCK IS THERE JIZZ ON MY CEILING
I’m torn. She’s crazy - like legitimately “Wear your skin as a suit” crazy. But her blow jobs and dirty talk are Pornhub quality!
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