We all just poured out a sip of our drinks for you. One for our pussy whipped homie.
how's this sound. You, me a box of pink franzia and a night full of possibilities in your basemen. I'll be me. You be you. And we'll see where it goes
I told him I'd give him a BJ if he admited Hanson was good.
Ur keys r in ur purse. ur purse is on the couch. ur cigs r on ur front seat. u drank all ur wine. mollie took ur jkt bc u cockblocked her. and in case anyone asks, the saints won 31-17.
Your sister reminds me of me at her age. Stop her while you can.
Dude. 21 days till I'm 21. It's the 21 day countdown. The 25 days of Christmas can suck my dick.
will you please stage a drunk girl intervention and tell him that his chain is severely harming his chances of getting laid tonight?
I just set a bowl of cap n crunch on fire. That high.
We got buck wild in our animal onesies last night. You kept ripping off your tail in angry rages.
he just kept repeating "those were some pretty nipple-y tits" over and over the rest of the night
I had no idea he had such passive aggressive animalistic tendencies. This is the human equivalent of peeing on someone.
for the record im never blowing a guy on the toilet again, that was sad and degrading
The last I heard from her she said she was going to plant sunflowers, get drunk on white wine and listen to Everybody Wants to Rule the World on repeat.
I currently hiding in an upside down garbage can please come find me
i've got three words. i. was. spanked.
Randomize
