Well I thought I'd be nice but yeah I'm not a fan of you either you're an arrogant stupid cocky unfunny loser. Don't talk to me you're crazy
I asked her if she was the outdoorsy type, she replied "I had sex on a fourwheeler once, does that count?"
You yelled "GET TO DA CHOPPA" and burst through her screen door and disappeared into the night. With the goose.
well that explains the french fry and ketchup packet rolled into the wasitband of my sweats. thank you drunk me.
I dislocated my rib eating pizza. I think I am broken.
He's drinking 50/50 vodka/water out of a camelback. Disaster would be a compliment at this point.
I should put together a new mom basket for her. It would have diapers, vodka, ambien, and tissues for when she cries about her wasted youth.
I AM COVERED IN FAKE BLOOD AND REAL CUM. I AM AWESOME
I'm actually drinking gin and juice out of a floridas natural carton...so if that has any indication of how I'm doing
He cannot be your sugar daddy. He looks like a literal hot dog.
We found out if you get Ben high but stay sober yourself he is an AWESOME cook. You need to get your ass down here, this goes against everything I know to be real.
I woke up this morning fully clothed with a dart in my pocket
I told my parents how nice the girl at the frogurt store was. I neglected to mention that I nearly lost my virginity to her via foursome.
It's a race to see if I finish the bottle first or my homework
Im about to get an ultrasound of my balls. I hate waiting. Its the worst.
Randomize
