Why dose there have to be another girl there for you to do this?
its hotter. Way hotter.
I cant help but queef when the male extremity enters
What is a male extremity?
i didnt realize it was that long since you've had sex
we're all still whores. we just have a theme song now.
I spent all day at the mall with her, then she made me actually watch a walk to remember then decided to tell me she was on her period. This one is either really crafty or I am really desperate.
I just saw two girls throwing up in the bathroom. they were high-fiving under the stall...
all I know is I'm really rwfly really really stoned and a bunch of Korean people are yelling at me
Meeting relatives from another state drenched in tequila and smelling of weed. I'm gonna kill you for soaking the only bra I brought in Jose Cuervo Gold.
Honesty, no. I just want to shower you with hot dogs.
He made the moves first, we made out...then we folded his laundry.
I feel a little uneasy about having my grandma sleep in my bed that I've banged chicks in not too long ago... Fuckin blizzards
That guy I hooked up with in new york last 2 statuses are "I'm going to be a father, it's a girl" then "wow syphilis sure does burn" I'm legit scared... What has my life come to.
I came home in someone else's underwear this morning
Atleast you got a souvenir
We decided it was a good idea to go streaking through the campus. Everything was fine until the sprinklers turned on and we realized the keys were in his pocket.
I’m a lady. I promise I won’t oogle your junk when we go skinny dipping.
Yes. I had to slow down my handjob so he would last...-and I give shitty handjobs to begin with
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