At what point did I eat out of your mouth?
this kid just offered me adderall in exchange for my meal points. college at its finest
Jessi just used the excuse "it's not you it's me" to get out of getting a lap dance.
At least I tried to be smart when I brought the alarm clock into the bathroom just in case I fell asleep.
This is going to be a 3 day beach sex fest. Do you understand
Don't worry we will all be making bad decisions soon
That's the most comforting thing I've heard in months
did you really just send me an instagramed dick pic?
my dad just paid them in porn...i no longer feel guilty for getting hammered and not helping
You've gotta make sure the carpets match the drapes, though.
I am not dying my bush blue.
Why did I ever allow that penis to enter my sacred temple?
I know he’s a bad decision but he's casual, his penis is amazing and his technique is on point.
How do u ask ur friend if shes keeping her kid but in a chill way
I AM GONNA CUM EVERYWHERE TONIGHT BRO.
Woke up to find that I was cock blocked by no more than three people.
I just found an entire bag of French fries under the seat of my car labeled "For emergency use only" drunk me is always planning ahead.
Randomize
