the last time I saw her she was leaving the mens bathroom and club rush with her dress inside out. typical tease.
Thats how high i was. The fact that he looked like Seth Rogan was apparently a good thing.
i've already watched her fall off the steps, walk up on our porch and try to dance with the dog, and stumble across the street to stand outside the neighbors window...is it taking it too far to watch this rando girl and some guy have sex behind our parking lot now?
STOP CALLING ME LADY CHLAMYDIA
She roared AMY HORNEY and hulk hoganed her shirt off. Fuckin marriage time bro
So this 40 year old woman was trying to bring me into the bathroom to blow me and the bartender called the cops on her because she was showing her tits. Only in asbury.
So this is where people who peaked in high school come to drink?
He just whispered "doors are weird" and then laughed so hard he fell down the stairs.
I don't know. She kept pirouetting across the kitchen while making dinner. I just sat there stoned.
But truly, sorry about your empty vagina
Thanks boo.
I told him I wish we were at my house cause then I could tell him to get out after we had sex.
I may have broke the toilet masturbating. On a positive note the floor is really clean now.
You would be successful and sober without me. you can't turn your bakon me now
What happened last night?
Lets just say you asked me a couple times if you had eyeballs..
He's the douchy one who wouldn't let me rip his shirt off, right?
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