I can't go out tonight I need to save my money for important things.....like rogaine and ecstasy.
We just stood on the porch wondering how you managed to puke up a whole piece of bologna
Dignity is for republicans.
I vomited in the sink and my bra was in there...I don't even have words to describe this hangover confusion
Half my make-up was stuck to his thigh where I'd fallen asleep after the blowjob.
Blew a line and having a jolly rancher... the day is looking up.
There's some drunk girl alone in the field, she looks like she could use some help.
Also it's only fair that you know that that girl is me.
She texted me shhh....im drunk, secret booty call...how could i say no?
I would feel worse for you if you weren't waking up between a pair of double Fs that attached to a classically trained chief. Im still jacking off eating hot pockets.
The ketchup exploded, and totally splooged his face and the wall. You could see the outline of his head in the wall splatter.
She just got on the scale. frowned, got off and took off her pants and then got back on
He's watching Always Sunny and eating refried beans straight from the can.
I woke up to the smell of shame and vomit in my hair... went to the bathroom to shower and passed out... woke back up naked with the blow dryer on... thanks for making my birthday a success
I think my time would be better spent seducing the TA then trying to save this paper.
I drank Dr. Pepper and instant breakfast mix together and threw up sober for the first time.
Randomize
