the pool opens at 11. by 1115 the ambulance had been called.
so he came on my face and then proceeded to say "that was just how i imagined it would happen"
where do you find these guys?
well after we realized that his best friend and my twin sister were hooking up it was kind of an unsopken agreement that we would too
i almost hope i AM knocked up so i can ruin the rest of his life
The neighborhood kids rang the doorbell in the middle of my first bong rip to ask if they could use my trampoline for the thirtieth time today...I opened the door and pretended to puke up a shitload of smoke, I have never seen a more terrified group of children
I've already made the "blackout on move in day" decision
Can we make sure camping doesn't turn into forest-orgy?
Lol, last year was UNREAL
So Bodhi just sent me a pic of someone's balls with a message that says "I hope you all have a ballin' night." I don't even know what level of friendship to call this anymore.
Oh my god.
The ballsiest level.
I think your dad took our porno
I like the fact that you've for some reason taken my penis into protective custody
He awkwardly handed me plan b on Pickens Street... it was like a sketchy drug deal.
well, mom whipped her new boobs out at the dining room table. So yeah you could say we had a pretty casual thanksgiving
It's not vacation until I get called "disgustinly sexy" by an fat woman whose older than my mother.
I got snowed in at my parent's. everyone's asleep so I'm smoking a joint in my old room and watching Tarzan on a 12" tv.
They must be so glad to have you home...
So my step mom just informed me she tells stories about me at work as a form of birth control for the girls that work there, not sure if i should be offended or proud.
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