I've decided through careful research we can out drink any country folk.
woke up to find a pram in the balcony. first thing we did was look over the edge!
woke up and she was making me crepes. definitely not the last time i fuck a culinary student
searching my car for your cum before I have to give my grandma a ride to the airport. Thanks for this
This whole situation could've been avoided if you would've just let me open the beer
If is anything like my past relationships, I have no doubt that I will single-handedly reignite the Cold War
Archery is over so let's go back to not giving a fuck for the next 3 years and 11 months
We boned on a bench in a park, french people were walking by cheering us on. Totally acceptable
Listen man, there's two things I know about in life: porn and sound. On a day that I'm wearing khakis, I need you to trust that I know what the fuck I'm doing.
Well, if worst comes to worst, I have pictures of his penis that I can put on the internet
I'm literally 40 minutes from where I was supposed to stay. I woke up in a parking lot.
I'm watching Trainwreck with Jeff and realizing that I'm the John Cena in my relationship.
Woke up in a house I don't know, with someone else's pants on, and wolverine hair, to my girlfriend yelling on the phone about the 4 girls I made out with last
Rough birthday weekend. Eating McDonalds in the shower and used a fifth of sky as a pillow last night
I’m getting back at my ex and training my new boy toy how to properly satisfy a woman. I’m killing two birds with one dick.
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