all you kept yelling was "i'm bored and i'm sober"
I love memorial day. It's drinking in the name of patriotism. God Bless America
I came home drunk to my night light on and a Hershey's bar on my bed. Mom knows me too well.
My dealer threw in a "freestyle rap" today with my purchase. I dont know if I can handle this relationship.
So I saw the nuva ring just lying on the counter at Planned Parenthood...did u know it's just a ring? I could go to the Dollar tree buy a plastic bracelet and shove it up there instead.
You do that. Then go have lots of unprotected with your harem of booty calls and see how that works out for you.
Selling drugs in raindeer antlers is the best way to spread christmas cheer
How was your 8:30 class today?
Non existent. I just threw up in my water bottle on the bus.
While all the other girls were trying to out skut the next, Cameron was just doing cartwheels around the bar. I think she's the only one who got laid.
Hows cali? I thought of you as I shaved 1/4 of my legs last night.
Almost caused a huge accident on the highway because I was distracted by how orange the road barrels were
This chick had a condom box organized by size with dividers that glowed in the dark.
When you wake up with a bow tie and mustache drawn on your penis, you know you had a good night.
He thought I was gay. I had to explain I just really like wearing flannel.
he told me he didn't like my name so he was going to call me Casey instead
We're lying on the pavement outside of the college. No one has asked if we're okay. I think they all understand.
Randomize