How young is too young to ask my kid to make me a drink?
mmmm my 21st bday fucking sucks all my best friends are pregnant...selfish assholes. they just couldnt wait til after my bday.
Come in. Grab a controller and a beer. We've got some Madden to beat.
You're the best girlfriend ever.
Also how the fuck did i get like 30 brown napkins
As soon as the judge read that I rear ended the car from getting roadhead he chuckled. You know he's been there before.
she told me to hold the wheel while she hung out the sunroof and cursed the old lady behind us out.
She took the bride and groom figures and the top layer of their cake and tried to walk out of the reception with it in her purse.
I woke up at 3am, my head in a toilet, still at the kegger, wearing a random cowboy hat.
I took 36 pictures of my lava lamp. your weed wins.
He's tweaking out . If he's on fucking bathsalts and eats my face like a chalupa pull the plug. I don't want to live with no fucking face. Pull. The. Plug.
Jumanji is 1000% better stoned while cooking breakfast.
We had sex and he ended up in the hospital... don't know if I should be worried or proud.
Well, you're 18 and dating a 28 year old. Who has a wife. Who isn't you. I would guess that's why your mom frowns upon the relationship.
i just want to die with dignity and clean teeth, is that too much to ask?
My fuck it list is complete! I finally got a firefighter!
Randomize
