I'm just sayin. Is it sad that I spent my last dollar on a hamburger just to get a paper bag to huff out of?
She just called to say she can support a full bottle of vodka between "the girls" now. I'm going over, don't try and stop me.
I love flavors. My neighbour is owide smoking and so am I. I'm adio boooooored and I need an adult.
So were u tired or drunk when u wrote last night's text message?
pills.
I offered to buy ihop waffles for all the homeless people outside the metro. It was time to go to bed.
you're being fucking weird and i don't like it. text me when you're not being the after picture on a poster for rehab
I'm gonna make a therapist very happy and very wealthy this semester.
Nothing ends a night of heavy drinking better than banging to three six mafia in your own driveway
Hit a new low. I'm FB stalking him while he is lying in bed sleeping naked next to me. He fell asleep with FB still open and unlocked on his iPad.
I just woke up to myself peeing the bed. Happy hump day! I'll never get married.
I feel like it went downhill once I decided we should take $100 tequila shots.. oops lol
sidebar: i fucked your brother last night
Apparently I was having great conversation with this 48 year old on grindr & he was concerned as to how I was getting home.
We should buy t shirt guns and blow eggs out of them at his house. Bachelorette party
Ur betting me $100 that I can't do ur sister?
I am such a fucking liability at weddings. I ended up making out with this married 40-year-old that told me that basically if I came home with him and be a sex partner for him and his wife, I would never have to pay for anything again. Extremely considered it.
Randomize
