literally followed a trail of condoms to the bus stop this morning. Ahh modern-day bread crumbs
i would totally change schools right now just to be that new girl everyone wants
I feel like my whole life has been one big pre-game for Mexico.
You said "It's ok guys, I know I'm not really a turtle" and then tried walking on the lake.
I searched the house and found a small bottle of sherry which is probably as old as I am, has prob gone off and tastes like shit. I don't care any more. It has come to this.
basically theres shrimp everywhere. splattered on the walls, in the carpet, its bad. ohh theyre never gonna get the smell out.
I'm not sure which one did it but one of them fucked the kink out of my neck
My brother just woke up to see me on te couch dipping hamburger buns into pizza sauce. I'm beginning to question the life choices that led to this moment.
My day may involve a drug pinata. I LOVE MY LIFE.
I was galloping around pretending to give birth to pbrs. I could have used a mask.
Man. Apparently I blacked out between the 4th margarita and my air mattress. Asleep in my jeans at 10pm. Mom outdrank me again.
he was like captain planet, but less blue and more nakeed
He called me baby cakes during sex... Can U not
Just heard a 15 minute program on the radio about how cases of gonorrhea in the throat and rectum are skyrocketing in the US. Almost crashed laughing so hard.
Sorry, who is this??
I woke up with a treasure map drawn on my ass. Whattt.
Randomize
