they thought it would be fun to get out their yearbook and see who hooked up with the most guys..I won...I don't even go to the same school
if I could go back to kindergarten and not fuck up my life, I so would.
you left a note on your car that said " please dont tow, im to drunk to drive. safety first!"
Do you remember giving me altiods and wishing me good luck on the walk home?
Dude, you need to understand there is a fine line between "guilty pleasure" and in the closet gay
my post shower fart this morning sounded like hulk ripping through a phonebook
She danced with a broom while telling me I was "cool as shit" and she "wishes she could take a portion of my big ass and attach it to hers" then she passed out
I kindof just wanted to go downstairs and let his dad know how good his son was at sex
Your CAR. Is in a LAKE. I'd say "a big mess" is a pretty conservative description of the situation.
He passed out again after sex. I've hidden all his clothes. There's no way he is sneaking out in the morning this time!
One day, tell me please to stop buying shots when I'm overwhelmed. I might have just broken a tooth
Oh I see how it is...you can snap chat the world your balls but I wear dinosaur feetie pajamas and I'm the "weird one"
We played table tennis, but used tv remotes taped to our foreheads instead of paddles. Every time your opponent scored you took a shot. I'm the current champion as of last night.
Had a rough day but my boyfriend made that all better by going down on me while letting me watch Top Gear... I'm buying the engagement ring tomorrow
I just wanna go home jackoff, eat chicken fingers, drink beer, play halo and go to bed. I'm sick of this shitty school, the shitty kids and having to fucking teach them.
Randomize
