sometimes i wish i could find another girl that loves my dick as much as she does
i feel like she has dreams of it being like a person saying hey lets go play
I've developed breathing exercises to keep myself from puking..
Come on. It's already happy hour in Europe...Man up. "I'm at work" and "it's a tuesday" are not valid excuses.
You may have cured my horniness. I feel like my libido just got shat on by kittens who live on an enchanted rainbow.
I can't wait for you to see these terrible photos I'm about to have taken with some stripper looking girls. I don't know what this photographer is thinking
Not good... He ate my chips. Thats not a sex analogy for anything. My actual potato chips... gone. I lost on both ends.
After the clumsiest day of my life I think it's safe to say my dream of being a ninja is dead. Memorial service with a glass of wine at 8pm
with the possibility that i could very easily fall in love with him and i've actually talked to my HUSBAND about it
Today I learned that when you lick a mans butthole, you get wined and dined at a nice french restaurant.
I have bits of ceiling fan all over now
I just spent 3 hours in the back of an unmarked police cruiser. Best. Date. Ever.
He said he wanted to lick the breadcrumbs off my chest
Dude, you were so drunk you were hanging from the ceiling of my car pretending you were a sloth while we were on 81.
my face feels like mints and my body feels like tingles
I just got a handjob in the back of an Uber while a large German dude and a Midwestern fuck-boi sang along in falsetto to the Bohemian Rhapsody.
Randomize
