he kept looking at my chin until i asked why, then he just said he was making sure his balls didnt leave a mark.
ok, i just want to know who did it and which end it came out of
dude i just saw a topless girl trying to get into her locked car. im moving here
She's NOT homeless...she graduated early.
It's a shame that I don't know his last name. Actually, it's an ever bigger shame that I don't know his first name
Dude its 315 and I'm sitting here eating slices of cheese. Don't talk to me about tomorrow.
she looked at me completely serious and said "orgasms are 15% Stronger during a hurricane" and started to take all her clothes off
Getting cock-blocked by Jeff Bridges. NOT OKAY.
I would makeout with my roommate, but im not drunk enough and she doesnt like bacon fat
Last time I heard from you, you were double fisting strawberry milk and wine. Answer this text so I know you're still alive. Bonus points for a coherent answer.
im going to hold it over his head for all of eternity. when his children are born i am going to go to the hospital as his wife is giving birth and shove the picture in the childs face, so the first time they see their father is in a drunken stupor looking like a jackass.
I've been here for three hours and I am already feeling sorry for whatever offspring i will indefinitely produce in this place.
I pray for you bro.
Hi this is the guy from the cell phone store. Your Dad just upgraded your phone as a surprise. I didn't tell him about your topless pics on your phone. I transfered them to new phone. Nice rack!
btw my frat has a search out for you. the "girl who threw up in the middle of the party" but it was on some fat girls. so thank you.
May the power of my ass compel you!!
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