I just found a dead bug in my nose. if that's the worst thing up there im considdering myself lucky.
Saved 180 Bucks tonight. Pulled my own tooth. More money to party with.
he smelled like listerine and beef tacos
she took her bra off and it was like the puppet strings had been dropped. her tits totally deflated.
We're upstairs smoking....the password is pineapple
Just once I'd like to throw a party where I don't have to clean up someone else's blood the next morning.
We never did figure out who the stuff on the wall came from, did we?
I think 2012 will be the year I purposely put myself in awkward situations. Much like 2011 but really trying this time. Like fucking the little sister of a girl I already fucked and dating a chick that lives with her ex. It could be awesome or horrible.
I thought you just gave him blowjobs and he criticized your drug use.
i've been lying on top of my bed for the past 20 minutes
i'm about to blow half an adderall though and try to rally
I've made a list of places I want to have sex this summer. #1: Reptile House at the zoo.
had a dream you helped me fill my shoes with yogurt. we were even like "why didn't we think of this before?!" like it was just so obvious
that sounds like something we'd do... we're onto something here
We're at the liquor store. Then going to the hospital
Someone just asked me if I was chewing red hot gum.... I'm LITERALLY SWEATING OUT FIREBALL.
Don't drag this out. All I need to know is if I have to put pants on or not.
Thanks for leaving me with drunk gabby
Hahahaha why what's happening?
She's sending me morse code through the wall....typical
Randomize
