I walked up to her and said hello and wanted to ask her if she had fun last night... she asked me if we had met before.
I am pretty sure he just licked my hand while trying to sing goo goo dolls iris to me. Get me out of this state.
I felt like I was in a real life creepy Myspace message. "girl u cute" ... "girl u got a really nice smile"
can you buy anything in the cafeteria for less than $2? I spent the last of my laundry money on a chia pet
not my fault hes the one that tried to cuddle after. said he wanted to spoon away the shame.
I think my cats understand what porn is. And it's all my fault.
who dressed up as a cop at your party???
idk I have to check. Why?
he gave me the best strip search of my life. FIND HIM.
I've reached the gravitational age where it's very hard to get my face and my boobs in the same shot without some kind of yoga involved .
Is there like a dick file on me? Guys can't hold two dicks anymore?! Who are you people????
The only word that describes how much hair I shaved off of my ass is "considerable".
Cum just came out of my nose. That is all.
He was fingering me and I came so hard that I actually broke his wrist. We're at the ER now.
Are you still in his room?
Nope, yogged home at 8 am with one shoe on.
I'm eating ice cream out of my purse
You can't say that. Only if you have peed on the side of the highway in daylight while signing Christmas songs can you say that.
Randomize
