Our phone convo was getting intense. Then I heard her say "quiet mommy is trying to have phone sex"
I realize now that I left my pants on that table in the downstairs bathroom at you house on Tuesday....
during a bj, his alarm went off and he said "At the buzzer"
We found a swing set....it's in the front yard.
All is not lost. The bondage chair came with repair seals and glue. It's like the knewwwwwww this would happen.
Me and Phil are just drawing pictures of thumbs in different costumes during lecture. I love being a senior.
the back of my hand read, "say no to drugs." my palm read, "say yes to shots." when the fuck did I write that?
this is not the first time I've had hot dogs and 151 for thanksgiving.
You've been drinking wine and eating bacon all afternoon. HOW IS THAT DOING GOOD?!?!
He just told me the blow job I gave him was like a journey
I'm praying that the company stray cat shows up tomorrow. I think I may have hit it while leaving Friday. Nobody will believe it was an accident after I hit the last one.
I almost just texted "I'm lonely" to my gynecologist.
I spent most of my night in the men's room eating popcorn on the garbage can conversing with strangers pissing
Well, personally I like to keep my blackmail in well organised folders.
He sent me a website link to GIF on Snapchat. I don’t think he understands how Social Media works.
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