put your party hat on. and by party hat I mean no panties
The guy dancing on me has three visible teeth. WHERE ARE YOU?
Last night i was gna tell u about how i was watching project runway & how i was upset bc they replaced tim gunn & heidi klum. but then i realized that i was watching mythbusters.
True life - we need to smoke together more often
No - a douche bag is not a fashion accessory. They do not make Gucci Douchebags
the blizzard started in kansas. im debating driving to a bar now so i can get snowed in there for the game
I just found your spare underwear and the half eaten granola bar you left in my purse.
The puppy is a lightweight. 3 beers and he's passed out on the floor already. I repeat, the puppy is a lightweight.
I'm wearing your poncho, and only your poncho. I'm not getting pulled over like this.
she said she walked into the kitchen and i was sitting ass naked on the floor chugging her parents vodka.
After a few mimosas, my mom started sharing her plans to move out of the house and into a retirement village so she can be the youngest one there and find herself a "nice old sugar daddy." Needless to say, break has not started off well...
I need a thor helmet and I need to find my heavy duty drinking mug
best eviction party ever.
it wasn't an eviction party you asshole, you just happened to get yourself evicted during the party.
Right now you and beer are my only friends.
My car insurance payment showed up today, so no inflatable hot tub for now. Sorry to disappoint.
I'd say I was is in rare form last night but it's becoming pretty common.
Randomize
