Yes, it's true. 4 fingers.
I love how adderall is equivalent to money on a college campus. just got a ride home and paid the driver in adderall...yeeah buddy
My co-worker just asked me if i colored my hair. Time to take a shower.
Green mimosas i think yes
I'll call you tomorrow. I'm ok and back i love you goodnight.
I stole a bike. Here's a pic
Drunk you is everything I aspire to be in life.
found a hand written recpiet for 'one doe fawn' on an open crate in my living room need help to find it
where the hell would u of bought a deer
Come over. Drunk tacos.
That isn't even a sentence.
I kept the important parts.
I just crawled out of bed at 5AM to make her a peanut butter and Nutella sandwich. Somewhere in the distance, I could hear whips cracking.
he just kept texting even after we lit his shoelaces on fire. he just calmly walked into the pool... still texting.
The port-o-potty that I peed in last night didn't actually have a toilet in it. And i never told anyone until this moment.
There's a Taco Bell quesadilla in my shower caddy right now.
It's like we're in an emotionally distant three-way and there's not even sex to show for it.
Ok here's the plan: birth control, KFC, handcuffs.
I am become drunk, destroyer of all worlds
Randomize
