her fupa was seducing me. this is the last time i'm doing shrooms.
Someone just asked me to go to the dining hall for dinner and he will use one of his swipes to pay for my meal. i think this is a college version of a date
we got blazed and looked up peoples criminal records
my cup is half full, half full of rum.
How does one fall all the way up a flight of stairs? Its hard on me knowing that the survival of our species depends on me not reproducing.
when we got back we had sex. but it wasnt til the morning that i figured out her leg was broken
There's a really old guy here with a really young girl. I'm guessing he has to make choo choo train noises to get his dick in her mouth.
This is NOT the time to take our hits and go to Disney. Let me repeat that. NOT THE TIME FOR DISNEY ON ACID
Puke, feathers, beads, and solo cups all on my way to class. I'm surprised anyone's alive after this weekend.
So both cops helped talk her into coming back into the bar and doing a shot with me. The main argument being, "a bar is no place to be sober!"
well my apartment and my life are still a disaster but I did clean off my desk so that's gotta count for something...
I'm pretty sure the Bible says "He who is most sober may cast the first stone."
What the fuck were you guys talking about?
Lube wrestling.
Oh, makes sense.
Walking into her house she felt something in her bra.... It was a used condom. Sadly enough this is not the first or last time it will happen. It's time for an intervention.
the cuervo was good, but I started with jello shots. and when i threw up a whole jello shot came out.
Randomize