It looked like if robin williams had a vagina
get your tongue out of his mouth and answer your phone. if your not doing more than making out i'm gonna be so pissed. i'm about to sleep in your car bitch
i think i just saw hanson at the grocery store. one might have been a girl. hard to tell. lets call that one taylor.
I lined up everyone's pillows and I'm playing Evel Knievel when I jerk off later.
When health care reform is passed, I'm throwing a kegger
You are the reason we need health care reform
Woke up to the sound of my own moans coming from the tv....evidently it was videotaped.
Mandatory 420 Adventure Time.
This is why we're friends.
Or maybe my penis is just the key to their locked boxes of crazy, and I unleash their wrath upon all of mankind just so I can get my nut off
I only think it appropriate to apologize for making out with your next boyfriend. It won't happen again.
It's all fun and games until some random starts jerking it on the deck.
He made me twerk for scrambled eggs... I regret nothing
The best part of the night was you shouting "I have to take the LSAT tomorrow" between shots of fireball.
I just lectured my ex boyfriend on how to eat a girl out what has my life come to
Just to let you know we went to the circus yesterday...in case you didn't remember
I got drunk. Then I took a shit.
It was a good shit
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