What about the words "You're my personal dildo" made him say "I love you"?
The guy in front of me in Sociology is definitely working on my farm in farmville. Never met him before. Do I thank him?
She was ugly to the point i wanted to brush my teeth after looking at her
Dude dan is so baked he taped his remote to the futon so he couldn't lose it again. Come over here
The bartender laughed but the manager kicked me out when the mom conplained. There's no way my fart harmed that baby in any way
dude you cant keep breaking into my house just to raid my fridge.. especially at 3AM.
New Years Resolution for 2011 : QUALITY cock. Not quantity.
Nothing kills the mood when I am hooking up on the dance floor like the DJ saying Happy Valentines.
So puking trix and chicken wings is horrible but atleast we got free drinks for taking the trash out at the bar we are really movin up in the world
I decided to let him keep the rest of my good weed as an "I'm sorry for being a drunk ass ho" consolation prize.
Never ever make a tattoo bet. I now have a shamrock on my dick.
HOW THE FUCK IS IT POSSIBLE THAT THE JUNIOR HIGH STUDENT IS BETTER AT BEING AN ADULT THAN I AM!?!?
He totally just went there for sex cuz he slept in her roommates bed the rest of the night after they were done...
pure definition of booty call.
How is it that 364 days a year I'm the adult, but on Halloween you completely forget how to have fun and become my grandma?
enjoying your night?
do dogs like to salsa?
I dont know if that answers my question or not
Randomize
