shaved balls and baby powder=awesome
I should have to wear a sign around the rest of the day so everyone knows the shame I feel.
Had to awkwardly dig through all my fake ID's to get my real one so I could vote.......Model citizen over here.
Well the strippers have danced to goo goo dolls and green day, time of your life. Were all gonna commit suicide.
Should I be concerned you put your last name in my phone as "danger"?
No ambien sex tonight. I just ate two hotdogs with chilli and onions.
He overslept for our prescheduled morning sex. The fact that my vagina isn't enough to get him out of bed was the last straw.
Do you think they manscape in the zombie apocalypse?
Weddings might be fun but they are not getting fucked in the wilderness fun.
DO NOT LET HIM TAKE CONTROL OVER YOUR BOWELS
His wedding band got caught on my nipple ring and that's how I realized he was married
i accidentally gave my stepdad ketamine so id say it was a fun weekend.
I guess it's part of life. Sometimes your ex boyfriend becomes a drag queen.
After 8 hours of circus trick sex, his parents are both hugging me and kissing me on the cheek asking when I'm coming back over. Score?
I woke up this morning to pee and six dollar bills fell out of my underwear. I guess that lap dance just bought me lunch.
Randomize
