You can't date a girl from every country.
I'm the captain planet of women
I googled what to do, and it said to squeeze the pressure out so people are taking turns sitting on my head. I can't believe I'm allowing this
I've decided, even as much fun as it sounds, I don't care for his sodomy box.
Well apparently I'm no fun since I won't have a threesome with him and my mother.
We were all definitely blackout with drunk goggles on, even though you and Amanda were the only ones dressed up as it.
You're obviously not trying hard enough. GET LAID. Kittens die for less.
Touche salesman.
You were dancing with a coffee pot of rum in one hand and a joint in the other. So that should explain everything.
I have a diplomatic trade for you. My pants for your rum. Tomorrow?
You made a course evaluation for your vagina? Wow. You really are a professor now.
She was to tired for head so she opted for a footjob with poor results. I dont want to talk about it
You left a motherfucking bruise. ON MY TIT. How? How do you even. No.
Why is everyone judging me for telling the cat a bedtime story?
Now you can NEVER tell anyone that on thanksgiving I took a selfie of my pussy to prove they don't get worse with babies.
My eye was non-stop itchy for like an hour... I thought burying my face in your ass caught up with me
Somehow I went from sitting in a car upside down to waking up in the grass surounded by paramedics. It was a great night.
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