apparently i started the naked brigade. and depantsed everyone who wasn't naked. her parents must hate me.
they said he just opened the front of his shirt and threw up alll over himself
Ask her if said friend is decent looking or a wildabeast. Need to know if I need to top these 8 coronas off with a little tequila.
Wait..I think something else did happen last night my vagina is too pleased for this level of hangover..
The best part of that night wasn't even the sex, it was listening to her explain to her boyfriend why she was naked in her room while I hid in her closet.
how many times have i told you.. they dont like when you laugh during sex
My favorite part was screaming to all my life by kc and jojo and just horribly failing
Does the room smell any better?
Yeah, i sprayed perfume. It smells like Victoria's Secret, if Victoria's secret was that she was homeless.
I woke up to my one night stand and he said, "now that's the one to beat"
im pretty sure the interns at this hospital have gotten hotter
Watching the awkward tinder date at the table next to mine is the most action I've had in months, so there's that.
I find celibacy oppressive. Huge waste of my time and talents.
After we won that round of beer pong you attempted to swallow the winning ball whole claiming you had the mouth and jaw of a snake.
A snake? I must've been gone...
After that you got naked and hissed at people the rest of the night..
Took it for the first time last night, and i saw a giant pillsbury boy coming after me with a wrench in his hand.
My dog just blew me a kiss. First of all I'm stoned and second of all he's a pitbull. Those aren't sexual dogs. So wtf.
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