The night began with "let go home early so we can study for my 9am final" and ended with "show me your boobs for a free pack of gum".My breasts are worth 14 sticks for a dollar.
I have beard burns on my inner thighs. I'd say last night went pretty well.
I'm not sure what happened last night, but my turtle seems afraid of me.
What's he like?
The usual. Sarcastic, dark, full of fucked up emotional problems that result in fantastic sexual prowess.
So, we're going at it on the sink when a German kid walks in and starts brushing his teeth. I love hostel sex.
when i'm drunk i think im just gonna point at him and yell adultery is a sinnnn. youre going to helllll
It just hurt to pee because he was fingering for fucking gold in there.
Well apparently I'm no fun since I won't have a threesome with him and my mother.
Check having sex on the rocks and dirt on the peak of saddleback mountain off my list.
I felt like a god.
remember how i yelled at you for inviting that coke dealer to the party?! i found the $100 bill they were snorting with in the couch.
..new slutty dresses or booze? i won't even waste time with the i told you so.
It's a noodle incident. All I can say is that it was completely accidental, no one was too seriously injured, and I'm not allowed back to that bar without a designated pusher for my wheelchair.
I lost my bra, he lost his virginity. Seems like a fair trade off.
I'm not in bed, I'm driving and puking at the same time.... first for everything
falling asleep on a hardwood floor changes a person
If I had your ass I would rule the world
Randomize
