what about "I will fuck you for a jamba juice" do you not understand?
A lady just asked me if you "seat yourselves" here at qdoba. I told her yea and she has been sitting at a table waiting for someone to take her order for 25 mins.
my dad is going to jail this weekend
where are we going to get our weed from?
He may or may not be blacked out. We put him to sleep in the community bathroom. He's wrapped in your blanket and he's already puked on it twice. Using your blanket was my idea. Maybe next time you'll ask before taking my vodka.
Not to make her into that kind of girl, but she did have a condom mural
I'm not sure if it was sex or spear fishing. He goes in for it like he's crash landing a rocket
You better of fucked him last night or do it now because he is buying all the roommates McDonald's.
I remember nothing of last night, but I did manage to figure out which frats I went to by the trails of straw across campus.
She did my hair, then ate me out. Switching teams was an awesome decision.
Just talked a homeless guy out of suicide. Was rewarded with a garbage bag full of mountain dew bottles and zannies. Im such a good person
I just love it. It's warm and soft and the rest of the world is so mean. My bed would never be mean to me
No, and she still hasn't answered me...I get a whole series of text messages about Guatemalan anal bleaching but no fucking answer to my question.
Remember when we made out in a Chik-Fil-A drive thru?
I just turned down a booty call because I'm having a Star Wars movie marathon
Jus pulled over and stole. Corn out of a. Field. ... get on my level
Randomize
