what happened last night??
everyone saw ******'s vagina
and that's just the beginning
i think he just uses that whole "grew up in a castle" thing to get pussy
When he was fingering me, it felt/looked like he was digging around for pocket change.
I was so high I couldnt even listen to music i was terrified of the potential knowledge i would gain.
I can't wait until weight watchers comes out with a beer
You know what is really helpful - when the two guys you want to fuck stand next to each other. Stay tuned for who wins
That drug basically just makes anything that's in your mouth awesome
Vodka @ 9pm. Library. Nothing can go wrong, I promise.
gpnpr hd vmdd nm the ggrl whm was mn my lar
I need you to use more vowels.
i'm having the hardest time convincing my roommates to go dumpster diving for pizza with me. i really miss you..
come onnn, where's your sense of adventure?!
I left it in that guy's dorm room.
I feel like our low point of the night was when we had to start chasing with ice cubes and wheat thins.
He tried to take a picture of me naked but only got my ass. I don't know his name but if my butt is a guys wallpaper, that's the one I boned.
A stranger came up to me, pointed at my drink and asked what it tasted like and proceeded to chug half of it and then walked away.
I left my Bacardi and dignity in your freezer. Will come get it later.
Randomize
