so are u like ashamed lol?
not really. i dont look at it as being homeless. im just going to pretend im on an extended camping trip
He looks like the kind of guy that still collects pokemon cards
she told me if people cross their eyes and look at her, they say she looks like megan fox
yeah except there is a correlation between drinking moonshine and going blind, which kind of concerns me
so not only am i rooming with two chicks on the volleyball team, but we just put down the deposit on a hot tub. this is going to be the best summer ever for my dick.
I may or may not be taking a bath listening to the Phantom of the Opera. This lovely moment brought to you by xanax.
dude when im high using logic is an accomplishment that should be rewarded. make sure u get cinnamon twists
Lmao I should put that ad on Craigslist "in need of muscular and determined team of men to carry drunken birthday whore safely home"
Youll thank me when youre dead an dont have a cat eating your face
Next time someone asks you what your spirit animal is do you really want to answer the iowa state fair butter cow?
You know you are high when you are so glad it wasn't your freshly buttered raisin bread that fell on your foot. It was your $400 Ipod
I'm not sure. But he has a pet sugar glider. So, points either way
As long as that's not his name for his dick.
It might look like I curled my hair last night but it's just the jiz.
It's called life, you pretentious bitch. Grow up.
So I took my bra off and threw it in the bushes before we went to the bars..
Randomize
