just wrote on a church. and then stalked a boy, by the way, i fucked him. him being your friend, also, love tacos.
how did we ever eat at restaurants where they DIDNT squirt-gun tequila in our mouths?
just took my birth control pill with a shamrock shake. happy st. patrick's day
I just saw "i'm bigger then that" as her facebook status. Would it be better to make a fat joke or correct her grammar?
Chillin with my Grandpa and my grandma tells us there is a tornado warning. My grandpa then says "We'll go hang out in the basement, we can bring the keg with us." This is why I love coming home
You were hanging upside down on the subway with your feet in the stirrup handle bars. the children were amused.
The difference between you and me last night was that I didn't remember getting into the cab and you didnt know we were in one.
15 year-old stoners have those problems. we're college students dude. dont be like that...
So I hear you're taking over showing your penis responsibilities now that I'm gone?
He called me at 4am to ask me to marry him, then threw up into the phone for 10 minutes.
I think I'm going to call this chapter of my life story "Weekday day-drinking in the park isn't just for the homeless!"
I just saw elmo dancing with gumby. The bars at 7a.m. are AWESOME.
I currently hiding in an upside down garbage can please come find me
Drunk me wants sober me to be happy, woke up with half a dozen doughnuts in my bed this morning.
Although, she is an extremely cool person. She put the "buddy" in "fuck buddy." And I mean that in the most respectful way possible.
Randomize
