But sometimes ur dick treats me better than u do
People were autographing me. I'm like the spring break yearbook
there are certain things about getting into a cab to go home at 630 am that make me feel like a prostitute.
Totally just grabbed the wrong dick. Damn this tequila.
Let's play a little game of "Last Night Never Happened"
Would I waste your time for mediocre porn?
Last time we had an ultimatum like that, things went very far south. I'm down, but it's your turn to wake up in a hospital.
she sent me a picture of dilf asleep in bed with the caption "what happened last night?"
Dude it's sisterhood of the traveling wine glasses here
Hun, it's always cinco de Drinko in our family. It's like Groundhog Day. Only with more booze.
So please don't worry, but I need some help getting blood out of my drywall so I can get my security deposit back. I would not ask if the need was not great.
Just get over here and light metaphorical fireworks in my literal vagina
Know we haven't talked but having an orgy party on the 20th if you're interested. If not, disregard this text.
Who is this?
i just saw a man in the grocery, sitting on the floor, eating out of a galon sized tub of macaroni salad. We need to get on his level.
we didn't have sex though. because i have the will power of an ox.
I miss the pre Covid days when we could meet men in bars. Hitting on guys in the grocery store is just depressing
Randomize
