I can't make any promises. I've tried my best to stay celibate. But if a guys on top of me, Im gonna tell him to stick it in.
Honey, If i waited till marriage I wouldnt know what a dick tasted like.
At one point we asked the guy to play "the lion sleeps tonight" with his bagpipes. Best version ever.
yeah, you were trying to hump the doorman.
when did we get a doorman?
we were also in the wrong building...
its family weekend so i'm givin my little bro a tour of everywhere ive thrown up on campus
Apparently I was holding on to a pizza crust for hours last night.
i'm sick of coming in second next to bourbon.
I decided not to look up the nudes, because I believe that there is a line, and that mocking my old classmate's horrid nudes alone crosses that line.
I feel like I'm pretty optimistic for a girl that might be pregnant.
I just want you to know when I bang him in the back of my car later I'll have pony by ginuwine on repeat
We can't go out this weekend. My uterus is so desperate it's given me permanent beer goggles
you said something about joining a k-pop band before passing out topless on the trampoline.
It was a bad idea to take ecstasy with cats in the house. No animal likes being touched that much. Let me know how your eye feels tomorrow
I just had a visual of u banging and screaming at him at the same time.
If I get back to the house before you, I'm setting up the swing. If you get there before me, it's chains and cuffs.
Randomize
