u know ur in oregon when the cop tells u to keep the beer cans he made u pour out so u can recycle them
He didnt have condoms & didnt trust himself to pull out. Thats when I knew he was a keeper. So I blew him so he knew I was a keeper too.
True romance of the 21st century.
Just had to explain to a senior manager why I had duct tape residue on my wrist and hand. This weekend was a success.
she ate the whole pudding cup using only her tongue. i'm considering going lesbian for her
The floor and the wall just switched. I'm falling.
Just got blown in a rental car. I need to get rear ended more often
the fact that we had sex in the dining hall makes it seem so much more like home.
I just got my hands on some dry ice. How do you feel about coming home to a mystical wizard toilet?
A horseman, i repeat, a man on a horse downtown just told me i was gorgeous and my friends were not. Not drunk enough.
he busted into the room with single cheese slices and started yelling "THROW SOME CHEESE ON THAT BITCH"
I left my coke in the bird nest in the bathroom stall last night but I found it nest and all in my purse I love morning suprises
You'd love her. She's outspoken like us. And appreciates a big penis and a strong drink.
Just ate an entire BBQ chicken pizza this better go to my tits
we're spending all day in bed drinking spiked eggnog and fucking
I told him he had to put his dick inside of me at approx 1159 to ensure it was birthday sex. i was 19 when he entered me.. came out 20. winning.
Randomize
