I just told my doc I would like to talk about my drinking problem, but that it would probably get in the way of my weekend plans.
Turns out drinking large amounts of Gentleman Jack does NOT turn you into a Gentleman -- quite the opposite actually.
Just topless shotgunned a bud light alone. I am about to peer mentor the shit out of these freshmen.
You drunk dialed me and told me to jump out of my second story window so I could give you head. I almost considered it.
Dude, just be careful. Her invitation for BJ is just a trap for her to stick her finger up your ass.
So I think my aunt and her one legged boyfriend are getting it on in the next room. Traumatized does not even begin to describe what I am right now
It's def pee. WHY DO I PEE ON THINGS WHEN I DRINK TEQUILA
Eating a TV dinner and watching Goosebumps on Netflix, the sad, sad title of my autobiography.
I'm gonna go ahead and say I love our drinking habits but anytime we roundhouse a 750 of Schnapps on the way to a non competitive bowling league we might have problems
I have a tab of a google image search of onion rings open and it is making me so happy.
I look at it as community service. He was going through a rough time and I gave him an ego boost. That's how we're going to remember it. I was doing a good deed lol
so... i have a picture of you and three other girls making kissy faces at this giant stuffed banana you're holding. however, you seem to be violently screaming at it.
Those bitches did NOT have my back.
just learned i can hear my fish chewing his food WHILE HES IN HIS BOWL. im going to have to call you back.
A fire alarm is going off in some building, people are running around naked and people are passed out in the MIDDLE of the sidewalk. If they ban parties again, I'm going to be pissed.
There's so many drinking games in the Olympics.
you missed out this chick was licking her paddle
Randomize
