Ha. Yes. I'm at a strip club. I'm the barack obama of strip clubs
We should write a comic book about the many adventures of your vagina. Maybe even give it a cape or something.
Yeah i wasn't gonna go out but then i was like im not gonna get my dick wet stayin at home studying
I slept with some guy because he drew a dinosaur on my arm
I found out why we traded puke covered dresses in the bathroom.
Come on. It's already happy hour in Europe...Man up. "I'm at work" and "it's a tuesday" are not valid excuses.
You mean the girl who was passed out face down on the bathroom floor until 10 AM? You're right, she was cute.
I am honored my friend, to hold the decision of what enters your body
I had sex with marker all over my face so I can do just about anything.
It would have to be recorded, because that sex tape would be humanity's primary evidence of miracles
We should get Al Michaels to provide commentary for it.
My fall semester strategy is to submit my papers with a nude selfie
You've got post-grad studies written all over you
I don't remember... but I heard a cop threatened to pepper spay my dick
No don't worry! What are obnoxious, alcoholic, slut roommates for if not for uplifting words and tales of my folly?!
Apparently the guy with the moaning gf that lives above us is in my DES class... AWKWARD
The only good thing about being back at work is supply room boom boom with my office husband
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