I'm holding in my pee so that I can hear "Cowboy" in its entirety on the radio
Is it sanitary to roast marshmallows over a cigarette lighter?
Do you think she hates me because I thought her roommate's name actually was Butterface?
I didn't plan on sleeping with him until he told me his mom is deaf.. Then I felt bad.
Immediate regret. She's like a chihuahua on crack.
By the way seagulls wings are very soft. And the lesbian and or by sexual twins say hello. Be home in the little bit time frame.
Putting Chia seeds in beer makes it ok for my diet, right?
He found his first fuckbuddy I'm so proud I feel like making him a card or something
You slept on a pillow of digiorno
SOS YOU NEED TO TAKE THE CANDY PANTIES OUT OF THE GLOVE COMPARTMENT BEFORE MOM TAKES MY CAR
The appetizer at the dinner I went to tonight was Klonopin and a Bloody Mary.
Even blacked out me knows not to sleep with socks on
He's my ex's boss. I'm not above sleeping with him for that fact alone.
Despite breaking my phone, thumb, and my dignity, last night was pretty good.
i cant hook up i'm covered in egg rolls
Randomize
