he's sitting on top of the fridge in only a black speedo and wont get down
My walk of shame got a new perspective when I walked into his livingroom and found his roommate fucking some chick on the coffee table.
I have yet found the courage to put pants on. No judgement thursday led to no shower friday and now no pants saturday. God i miss college.
I would think I was a stalker too if I wasn't myself
The sex was so good I went temporarily numb. Slightly embarrassing when she pointed out I was kissing my own arm.
Come find me, I'm the girl sitting alone in taco bell at 9 in the morning drinking concealed beer with a straw
the scent of your tears make me crave pizza
A dude was barking out of one of the buildings so I barked back and he goes, "Oh shit! She barked back! Come to room 803 I'll fuck you!"
i don't know man... i just want to listen to John Lennon every time i finish fucking her. is this love?
My roommates don't agree with the whole tv in the bathroom idea. Fucking barbarians.
Currently googling hangover cures, which looks a lot like working from the perspective of my boss.
FML I accidentally sent the text about his bruised balls as a group text that included his brother and my boss.
You'd think it'd be fun living next door to a guy whose neck you once licked. Surprise, it's not.
i can't believe i helped you shave your back last night, and she still didn't sleep with you.
She was all for the threesome til I showed her a pic of my boyfriend. I think I should re-evaluate my life decisions.
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