do you ever just like the smell of your farts?
My body isn't even mad at me...just disappointed
Would you like to blur the lines between friendship and lesbianism tonight?
bring the vodka.
i thought we were going to mcdonalds..?
we are.
Watching intervention at a bar. Who let this happen??
Don't you hate it when all three people suddenly sober up in the middle of a threesome. Awwwwkward.
I'm paying a homeless guy $20 to follow me around bars tonight with a boombox playing the theme to Rocky.
Can you send me the video of that girl that got arrested last night? I'm gonna try and hit that and I need something to break the ice with.
I just found a GIANT thermos of sangria in my sink. I don't know if its still good to drink, but its good to drink.
omg. i wish i could describe to you the number of things that were just in my vagina. i feel like i got gangbanged by construction workers.
Im currently watching two girls making out. In the library. Hope your studying is going as good as mine is. Haha
I'm 99% sure I just puked glitter. Wine drunk Mondays shouldn't be a thing.
It's like you know you got fucjed up when you wake up and check fir your own pulse
I masterbated to his instagram page. Too far or....?
I wiped my ass with a McDonalds wrapper. I've hit an all time low. Sorry for my impatience
Randomize
