yeah but I shoulda known it\'d be bad when he start rubbing my pubic bone instead of the clit! Awkkkkwarddd
office poll is still running 100% that Spencer Pratt is more disturbing than David Carradine's death
nothing as in nothinggggg kills the mood for me is when a girl with 4 cm nipple hair
Judging by her face, I'd say she's at least dabbled with meth...
It's just a condom. Most people would commend me for saying I was going to start using them, and you're acting like I'm going to try heroin.
just made one giant jello shot... if i have to study on a saturday night, i'm gonna do it as drunk as possible
Did I really just find a cheez- it box full of condoms in your room?
You know it is an interesting night when the 911 operator calls you
Apparently all year they've been using me as a standard of drunkenness
He stumbled into my room, flopped on my bed, shoes on my pillow and asked me for a juice box. Then fell asleep with the juice box on his forehead.
No. If I hated you would get none. Then I would eat them all in front of you and laugh at your tears. Although that hasn't been ruled out for entertainment purposes. Nothing purposeful.
I'm to the point where I'm fantasizing about Iron Chefs going down on me.
A dude just looked at me like my drunk swaying was corrupting his progeny DUDE YOUR KID HAS A MULLET YOU'VE ALREADY RUINED HIM
Ugh I don't want to adult today. I need like a dozen more coffees. Or cookies. They're interchangeable.
I have photo proof.
Girl, don't care. What's my rule? If I don't remember it, it never happened.
Randomize
