Google if cops ever smoke weeds and then bust them. I need to know immidiately.
Those former-lesbian gone white-trash bars always seem to be your favorite.
My parents showed me my IQ test from fourth grade, I'm shitting on my potential.
Today's face brought to you by last night's make-up.
The idea of snorting emergen-c actually just crossed my mind.
I would have screamed and cried and bled and shit and then died. Fuck that guy.
He insists on falling asleep with his penis between my buttcheeks. He says its his "home".
After a long night of drunk sexting I have to the ninja roll at the front door to see who showed up.
Got stuck at my fwb place for three days because I decided sex was more important than my safety in the weather. Worth it.
We were just getting out tux's at men's warehouse he pulled both of the fitting room girls. I dont think he should be getting married
See this is where I mess up.. I get distracted by the option of consistent sex and free beer
We had sex and I never took my mets hat off... I feel like Duda knows and approves.
I definitely fucked a Trump supporter last night but I wouldn't let him fully admit it because then I would've had to leave and his cock and abs were too perfect
it's unicorns you uncultured swine
These morning walks of shame have became my morning jogs
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