i pretty much saved your life. you were so conviced that your nail polish remover bottle was "Vodka Lemon"
A chick at the bar last night took my black berry, looked at my Brick Breaker score and told me she couldnt take someone that has a lower score than her seriously.
We probably shouldn't have forced that guys cat to drink the grey goose while we were doing lines in his bathroom
In all fairness I didnt see your dick because it was already in her
He passed out with the ball in his hand so no one could play beer pong without him.
Def something wrong w taking plan b with your daughters juice box
Cocaine can totally be concealed as MAC finishing powder. Drug dealer creds just went up 120 percent
Come to the roof. We are drinking breakfast.
I masturbated to my balding thirty-something co-worker last night. I am a new level of lonely.
You just referred to a pillow with a stolen bra strapped to it as "she". Let that sink in for a minute.
you slapped the bag of goldfish out of her hands and screamed, "BITCH THIS AINT NO AQUARIUM". That's how fucked up
just woke up on the floor of my shower...it was still runnning
I am googling "notable people who had syphilis"
It's hard picking what to wear when you know the plan is sex. Like can't I just wear my robe let's just simplify this.
When dealing with embarassing medical issues, don't you want your brother's wife to be the one fishing around up your ass?
Randomize
