She really thought E.D. was a sexually position.
The most interesting things happen to you when your pants come down. I truly envy you.
Uh oh I Hage to dance yes, my feet are Whitney Houston
He just showed me a video of his erect penis moving to the beet of the music when he was high, I think I'm in love.
He came to the party late, didn't bring tacos, and then asked what shennanigans we were getting into. I swear I will never fuck another hipster.
And they were awkwardly all over each other in a Christian way.
Was behind a guy going 20 for 4 miles I'll be there as soon as the universe quits fucking me
It's like hey here is one penis enjoy nothing but that for the rest of your life
and than he said 'I did amateur porn for a while' and I just knew tinder did not fail me this time
I'm also sorry that I ate your chicken sandwich while you were throwing up....
Note to self:A blacklight toga party at a frat house is a bad idea. Some things cannot be unseen
I just licked wine off my own thigh. I've hit a new low.
Fuck you. You were a total asshole last night.
We will get to that, but can anybody tell me whose fucking socks I am wearing?!
He played with my nipples while singing "How great thou art"
Clearly the Stanley Cup Finals good luck hand job IS necessary. You let the whole team down.
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