its like randi wears special contacts, but instead of colors they make her eyes say "I want cock"
my last 3 google searches were anal itchy vagina and ice cubes
i was just texting to let you know that my facebook chat is working again so you can talk to me more. please talk to me more.
she said "lets play dickbreaker!" and then threw my blackberry at my dick as hard as she could.
no i did not stop my best friend from eating out my sister...bros before hoes
I know we didn't hook up because i was still wearing my fanny pack in the morning
i just bought plan b at the bus station. happy holidays and welcome to a new level of white trashiness.
I think I found an E pill under the couch.. Or really bad tasting candy. Check back in 30min this could get exciting
Sorry I sent so many blank messages. My hands are slippery. Don't ask why.
Just saw out breathalyzer tubes from last night on the side of the road. Glad the cop let us know that they are biodegradable
Hey when you wake up and read this, we really need to stop pullin our dicks out when we drink dude. I have all the pics, yall are assholes
I JUST WATCHED PAULA DEEN PUT BUTTER IN HER BLOODY MARY. This is not a drill. Real life.
I think the only context in which I'd be comfortable being kidnapped is by a band of baby sloths
Dear sober self, your keys are on the table in front of you the only way your typing this is with autocorrect goodnight love you
That 2-CB was ass.
You mean the asprin cut with pez?
Randomize
