love how google fills in search terms for you, today for example, i ran a query for "why do girls get t"
and google finished it w/ "ramp stamps."
I felt less weird knowing others had searched this before me.
now i know why i became what i already was.
i love that he's uncircumcised. it makes handjobs so much easier. it's the lazy susan of penises.
I would say a second date is not looking likely, I acciedentally bit his penis. it's still bleeding 43 minutes later.
I found out why we traded puke covered dresses in the bathroom.
Apparently I blacked out and pissed all over the sliding glass door from the inside, as everyone watched from the outside helplessly....
Yes... I'll kill two birds with one crazy ecstacy filled night.
Going to put that on my resume. "Only accidentally snapchatted my titties to all of my friends once."
You've never felt ridiculous until you've walked through downtown in a Viking costume
I'm cooling my balls with a beer because I'm too cheap to turn on the AC
If my vagina were a person, it just ran a marathon.
At one point my little brother was Rocky Balboa'd by a stripper's tit
I just noticed, at some point last night I got on iTunes and purchased over 100 classical piano songs.
I'm going to need you to stop harassing my professor on Twitter when you're drunk.
I’m appalled by how severely I lower my standards when I’m horny & impaired
Randomize
