we are cloud gazing and there is one that looks like a giant baby riding a dolphin and smoking a joint
i wish there was a reasonable explanation for why this reminds me of you
Was I wearing clothes when I handed you your keys. Please tell me I was wearing clothes.
She somehow inhaled a tack last night, she's having surgery today.
she got to the point every few minutes she checked to see if her boobs were still there.
I feel like strippers are like dogs, the more you show you're terrified the faster they come at you.
Apparently, my drunken 3AM idea of safety is to send a GPS map of my location to someone 700 miles away. Seriously considering death as a viable alternative to this hangover. Death or Yuengling.
She has an inverted nipple. She told to play with the normal one until the other one pops up.
That would warm my breasts.
In this context breast is a metaphor for soul.
Unless you're gonna start buying my underwear, you have got to stop ripping it off of me.
i don't knpow whats goin on i think theyre sacrificeing me to th tequila gods
I just had to take my laptop away from him because he was on Amazon and had 20 Seahawks garden gnomes in his cart.
Stop your judging. I got free booze AND an oil change. You're the one whose always saying we're spending too much money.
you better come over.. I need a witness to help prove the couch talks to me
Only thing I have going for me is jacking off, weed, and saturdays
i dont know how or why im in the gym right now, but theres a hot cop, a guy i hook up with, and his hot friend. this can only lead to every fantasy i ever had.
Randomize
