I want the hot one, scratch that. anyone.
so I was like, you know platform 9 3/4? I know something else with those measurements. best. pick up line. ever.
hey, i'm all for honesty but let's not get carried away
he made me scream out "#24" while we fucked...no more football players
I may do that, fyi I'm even more sore than I was yesterday. It's like the ghost of your dick is still inside me.
I just pulled a handful of rice out of my pocket.
She just tagged pictures of you wrapped in the "above the influence banner" like a toga.
Definitely want to eloquently cunt punt those bitches thru the field goals of life.
At one point last night I over heard you say " I'm gonna puke in a bag and pour it down your throat" I LOVE YOU.
oh you know, the usual stuff. getting kicked out of bars and sleeping in cars.
If he thinks that that is an acceptable way to ask me out he is out his goddamn ginger mindddddd.
You were ¾ of the way through the first pitcher of margaritas then you turned to me and said "Wow I can barely taste the vodka!" And then…….
...Then...
Then I told you margaritas are made with tequila not vodka. You whipped the pitcher at the wall and ordered another one
I watched you down those shots like a lion cub watching its mother rip apart a gazelle
Worst case scenario- he paid me for sex with meatloaf. There are worse thing, right? I mean at least is was good meatloaf.
We're lying on the pavement outside of the college. No one has asked if we're okay. I think they all understand.
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