I'm convinced that Kathy Griffin and Andy Dick are the same person...
Yeah, the furnace guy just pulled out 4 empty and 1 full beer bottle from the vent. You are no longer allowed over.
Dude.. You paid a stripper $50 to listen to you cry last night.
we didnt even make it to the club...the two of us were sharing a plastc bag in the taxi puking into it.
I just put fruit snacks in my sangria instead of real fruit. Its like freshman year all over again..
We couldn't afford sangria freshman year. We're lucky we had fruit snacks..
I have a lot of questions this morning, most of them start with "Did I..."
Did u know it's unconstitutional to turn down a shot during 4th of July celebrations.. Rest now dear liver
Pedi-lyte stocked
The George Foreman grill is melted. I don't know what other problems could arise.
There is someone out there for you right now. And we will find her. Or him. Her. Her, we'll start with tits.
LOOK AT MY ASS AND LEGS IN THIS SKIRT. I KNOW ALL THE BEST HIDING SPOTS IN THIS BUILDING. AND I OFFER TEQUILA.
It wouldn't be New Years Eve if we knew where we would be at midnight
I don't want to go back to the suburbs. Being drunk in public isn't ok and theres too many children. Don't make me.
If he sends me a dick pic so help me god.
When Dad gets to your house, ask him about the sound of anal beads. Happy Thanksgiving!
I just want him to hold me after a bad midterm. Is that even too much to ask for after sleeping with him twice?
Randomize
