Fantastic night. drank beer from a wine bottle, danced on a van, chased a llama, and fell from a fence
If someone cant be won over with guacomole and tequila they are not worth your time.
Would you still love me if I had no teeth
Yeah why?
Cuz i woke up this morning and a few are gone
I just made a friends list on fb of all the guys ive hooked up with. genius.
jess passed out on the pong table. it was depressing until we started singing shania twain an hour later and heard her muffled voice singing along.
Come downstairs. Moms serving wine for breakfast again.
i left the icescrapper in his bathroom. i dont remember taking it there, but i remember brushing his hair with it.
I need an IV, a new head, and stronger morals.
Aaaaand my mom is wearing jeggings...
I caught a glimpse of his penis. I can only imagine what your mom's vagina goes through because of that penis
They were supposed to legalize it when there was a chance someone might actually propose to me. I'm appealing this bullshit.
I'm naked on my couch and just ate a chip that was in my belly button.. my 20s have been weird.
We had sex to Hey Arnold, Rugrats, and All That. I feel like my life has come full circle.
I love you even if you are fucked up. If you fall, i'll just get on top of you.
You’re going to be a doctor, and I’m going to be a trophy wife. We both have goals
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